When the holidays roll around, one of the challenges I hear a lot from clients is, “How do I handle people who I don’t get along with during a holiday gathering?” Most of us face this issue during the holidays and there are some simple things you can do to manage a social situation with a difficult relative, co-worker or someone you simply find to be a challenging character.
First, set your expectations to neutral. If you engage without an agenda or an outcome in mind, you will not find yourself frustrated or upset by the interaction. Second, ask questions or bring up topics that are not personal or emotional. For example, if you have a competitive history with this person, talking abut things you have opposing viewpoints about will probably not go down a positive path. Instead, talk about something happening in the moment like the food or the setting. You can also select topics where you already know you agree and focus on one or two of those concepts.
Take the opportunity when you can to neutralize the emotional load of the conversation and disarm the moment. It often comes down to word choice and the tone of your voice. Remember these exchanges are very short moments in time and you have the tools to manage the interaction in a positive way.